To live more authentically, you’ll probably need to have some difficult conversations.

  • You may want to change or leave relationships.
  • You might want to quit your job or continue enjoying some of the advantages of working from home that you’ve gotten used to during the pandemic.
  • Perhaps you want to become a forceful advocate for a cause you’re passionate about.

Do you know how to have these conversations confidently and calmly? If not, this book is perfect for you!

Display my ISPEAQ book

Speaking up for ourselves can be so hard

For one thing, the stakes can be high. Our relationships–personal and professional–are probably the most important parts of our lives, and we don’t want to mess them up by saying the wrong thing.

For another, most of us have never learned how to speak up for ourselves. You might even have learned the opposite: to keep the peace, be nice, and “be seen and not heard.”

have difficult conversation

You deserve to say what you think and feel.

Your life, your energy, and your love are precious.

Are you happy with the way you’re spending them? Or would you like to change some things? ISPEAQ will encourage you to feel confident about your right to live your life on your own terms, and show you how to advocate for yourself with confidence, clarity, and compassion for yourself and for the people you speak to.

Once you learn the basic process taught in this book, you can use it with everyone from your politically opinionated relative to your critical boss or your ho-hum lover. Use it to tell a friend you know she means well but is insensitive to something that bothers you. Get ideas for communicating in a new way with your growing children. And finally get your partner to put the cap back on the toothpaste.


You will feel prepared and empowered to speak up for yourself like never before.

Change Your World!

ISPEAQ will walk you through a step-by-step process for preparing your words, your mind, and your body for a difficult conversation.

Six succinct chapters explain the process and include examples that show the process in action.

Then there’s a fill-in-the-blank template to help you organize your own thoughts. (You can also come back here and download new templates any time you want. See the link below.)

Finally, a variety of sample conversations show you how the whole thing comes together and offer ideas you might use yourself.

Work with me on your difficult conversation.

Get encouraging one-on-one help to get in the right frame of mind and find the right words. 

Try the worksheet to prepare for any difficult conversation. 

Where the book comes from

I created ISPEAQ more than ten years ago to help my clients who struggled to speak up calmly and effectively at home, work, or school.

It draws on:

  • Professional mediation techniques — the kind used to bridge differences between, for instance, warring countries.
  • Non-violent Communications (also called Compassionate Communication or Collaborative Communication) was developed by the great Marshall Rosenberg.
  • The listening techniques of Nancy Kline, author of Time to Think
  • My training/certifications in positive psychology, the Enneagram, Family Coaching, and Life Coaching
  • More than 20 years in the corporate world as an employee and as a manager. Some businesses encourage open communications, but many do not.

This book meant a lot to me because I had also grown up not knowing how. It’s a big game changer.

Kristen Carter - Life Coach After Cancer

Work with me on your difficult conversation.

Join the Conversation

Leave your thoughts below…



  1. Sara Jo Fischer

    I am so thrilled for you . I love the concept, content and your graphics. You are brilliant.

    • Kristen

      Thank you so much, Sara Jo! ❤️

  2. Terry

    Kristen, I am excited to learn from your experience. Sometimes, the things I say might have come out a bit better. It’s one challenge to be timid, and another to be too forceful. Knowing how to fineness between both extremes will be so helpful. I would like to order your book as soon as it’s available.

    • Kristen

      Thank you, Terry! I’ve also veered between being too timid and too forceful, and been dissatisfied (at least) with the results. I’ll let you know as soon as the book is ready – won’t be long! ❤️


Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *