“I wish I’d lived a life true to myself rather than the one others expected of me.”

That was the number-one regret expressed by dying people cared for by Australian palliative nurse Bronnie Ware, who worked with hospice patients for almost ten years and who wrote about her experiences in her book, The Five Regrets of the Dying.

They also wished they’d kept friendships alive, worked less and spent more time with family (very common among her male patients), allowed themselves to be happier, and had the courage to express their feelings – which undoubtedly would have helped them live their lives more authentically.

There have been two pivotal experiences in my life that kicked me down the road toward my own authenticity: the first was when I realized my true calling in life in my first week of Martha Beck life-coach training. I knew then that I wanted to help other people (and myself) become more of their “essential selves.”

The second, ten years later, followed my diagnosis of metastatic breast cancer. That brought me face-to-face with who and where I was in my life compared to where I would be if I had been even more deliberate in my choices. I swore to myself that if I responded to cancer treatment, I would honor myself and my dreams with every day I had left.

Fortunately, I did respond to treatment, and four and a half years later I can honestly say that I am more aligned with my top priorities than ever before.

Are you? Do you feel peaceful about the way you spend your days, and who you spend time with? Do you have enough meaning and purpose in your life? Do you spend your free time doing things that fill your spirit?

If not, I invite you to reflect on these regrets and see if you’d have any if you knew you wouldn’t live forever. What would you like to do differently?

Wishing you peace and no regrets.

sea1

Do you need kind, compassionate support to bounce back from a negative experience? If so, then get in touch with me now, and let’s make the most of your precious time, energy and love. 

0 Comments

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Kristen Carter

Kristen Carter, Certified coach, author, and breast cancer survivor. More

Self-Love Comes First

Self-Love Comes First

Valentine’s Day can be a wonderful holiday if you’re in a relationship with someone you care for (and who cares for you). But whether you’re in such a partnership or not, there is one person you should love above all others: yourself. “What??” you might ask. “What...

Dealing With Survivor’s Guilt

Dealing With Survivor’s Guilt

Many of us with breast cancer become close friends with others that we meet in support groups, online forums, and through friends. Sadly, some of them pass away, leaving us with grief and, sometimes, survivor’s guilt. Survivor’s guilt is real and we all experience it...

Dealing With Breast Cancer-related Weight Gain

Dealing With Breast Cancer-related Weight Gain

As if having breast cancer isn’t bad enough, many women find that they put on unwanted pounds due to the specific treatment they’re on and/or feeling too tired to exercise the way they used to. I am not a metabolism expert but did some research and found that the...

Taming “Scanxiety”

Taming “Scanxiety”

In the same way we can imagine beautiful futures like a cure for cancer and watching our grandchildren thrive, we can imagine the most awful futures: disease progression, painful treatment, devastating side effects, dying. Imagination is a uniquely human capacity,...

A SIMPLE Framework for Life

A SIMPLE Framework for Life

It’s completely normal to feel disoriented and detached from our old lives and original selves after anything as life-altering as a breast cancer diagnosis. It’s like we’ve been picked up in a personal tidal wave, tossed and tumbled, and washed up on a new shore,...

Get through this with self-love, a clear focus on what matters most to you, and help from someone who's been there.

Explore what kind, compassionate support can feel like with a no-obligation conversation with me by phone or by Zoom.