What’s the Point?

by | Feb 12, 2022 | Resilience When Life is Challenging | 0 comments

One of the biggest and most common questions I’ve heard as a coach can be summed up as, “What’s my purpose?”

At some point in our lives, I think most of us ask this question. We’ve maybe done all the “right” things so far—school, jobs, relationships—and yet the day comes when we wonder, “What’s the point of all this? What am I really here for?”

The thing that triggers us into existential-question mode might be big (medical diagnosis, global pandemic, kids leaving home) or small (age spots, a gnawing ho-hum feeling about life).

I don’t get to take life for granted anymore, so I’ve done a lot of thinking about what the point is; what I think we’re here for. Here are some of the conclusions I’ve drawn:

  • Relationships. What keeps me going and helps me get by is the love of my family and friends.
  • Loving ourselves. Seeing everything about ourselves and either cherishing it or forgiving it. Until we can do this, we can’t love others and will keep them at a distance, lest they see the “real us.” This can be the work of a lifetime and may be one of the big reasons we’re here. (Accomplishing this, having warmth and compassion toward myself, is what I mean when I write about feeling shiny inside.)
  • Helping others. We all have inborn talents, acquired skills, and hard-won lessons we can share with others. Doing so is helpful to our fellow humans, and it feels great when we do it. This is where we can find our deepest sense of meaning; of being part of the circle of life. And we don’t even have to be perfect at anything to do this! There are always people who know a little less than we do, who are two or three steps behind, who might actually be intimidated by the gurus and want someone just like us.
  • Growing through the challenges that come our way. We’re all on some version of the hero(ine)’s journey, trying to learn and live graciously despite all the things life throws at us. I think this is one reason our spirits come here: the wild ride, the growth, the extreme human experiences that teach us the most about life and ourselves. And the better we do this, the more we’re able to support others and feel good about ourselves, so these bullet points become like a big self-reinforcing cycle of love and growth and connection and more love and growth and connection. Then *whew!* we drop into wherever we go after this life saying, “I did it! Wow-wow-wow. I made the most of it, and it was amazing.”

Those are my top four. What would yours be? Hit reply and share your thoughts.

sea1

Do you need kind, compassionate support to bounce back from a negative experience? If so, then get in touch with me now, and let’s make the most of your precious time, energy and love. 

0 Comments

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Kristen Carter

Kristen Carter, Certified coach, author, and breast cancer survivor. More

Dealing With Survivor’s Guilt

Dealing With Survivor’s Guilt

Many of us with breast cancer become close friends with others that we meet in support groups, online forums, and through friends. Sadly, some of them pass away, leaving us with grief and, sometimes, survivor’s guilt. Survivor’s guilt is real and we all experience it...

Living Without Regrets

Living Without Regrets

“I wish I’d lived a life true to myself rather than the one others expected of me.” That was the number-one regret expressed by dying people cared for by Australian palliative nurse Bronnie Ware, who worked with hospice patients for almost ten years and who wrote...

Dealing With Breast Cancer-related Weight Gain

Dealing With Breast Cancer-related Weight Gain

As if having breast cancer isn’t bad enough, many women find that they put on unwanted pounds due to the specific treatment they’re on and/or feeling too tired to exercise the way they used to. I am not a metabolism expert but did some research and found that the...

Taming “Scanxiety”

Taming “Scanxiety”

In the same way we can imagine beautiful futures like a cure for cancer and watching our grandchildren thrive, we can imagine the most awful futures: disease progression, painful treatment, devastating side effects, dying. Imagination is a uniquely human capacity,...

A SIMPLE Framework for Life

A SIMPLE Framework for Life

It’s completely normal to feel disoriented and detached from our old lives and original selves after anything as life-altering as a breast cancer diagnosis. It’s like we’ve been picked up in a personal tidal wave, tossed and tumbled, and washed up on a new shore,...

Get through this with self-love, a clear focus on what matters most to you, and help from someone who's been there.

Explore what kind, compassionate support can feel like with a no-obligation conversation with me by phone or by Zoom.